The leadership skill that changes everything
A strange thing happened on a recent flight from Sydney to Perth. I got into a conversation with the person next to me. It was strange because in this modern era we tend to lock ourselves away and keep our distance by burying ourselves in phones, computers or other devices.
This was different. I got to enjoy a conversation with a stranger, and as a result, the time flew by (pardon the pun). As we chatted, we asked each other about our professions. He was in a leadership role with Dyson, and I was fascinated to learn more about their business.
His eyes lit up when I told him I was a consultant who coached leaders to build the team and culture they needed to achieve their vision and strategy and that I’d been doing it for 30 years. He was bursting with questions and keen to pick my brains about how he could advance his leadership career. After a brief pause, he asked an excellent question.
He wanted to know what attribute I had consistently seen in great leaders. It was an excellent question because, in one fell swoop, he would find out how he could become a great leader. It was a great example of how the quality of your question will determine the quality of the answer.
My answer surprised him.
He was expecting something like charisma, a compelling vision, communication and presentation skills, drive and determination, or something else along those lines. They are the attributes typically espoused by gurus. Instead, he got humility, or more specifically, being humble enough to listen.
Humility will teach you how to be a great leader
Your people want you to be a great leader. They are bursting to give you feedback that will enhance your leadership and improve everyone’s experience and performance. Theirs and yours. Why? Because no-one wants to work for a terrible leader.
If you learn to listen, you will open yourself up to feedback that will help you improve in all facets of your leadership.
If you learn to listen, you will open yourself up to feedback that will help you improve in all facets of your leadership. It’s a fantastic way to learn everything you need to know. In fact, it’s the best leadership school you could ever attend.
Yes, you will need to take their feedback with a grain of salt and weed out the suggestions that were motivated by self-interest, but when you do that, you will get relevant and personalized coaching in how to be a great leader from the people who experience and see your leadership the most.
It will help you be more proactive
Your people are your best source of information. They are on the front lines talking to your customers, suppliers, contractors, regulators, stakeholders and everyone. They will notice changes and challenges as they are happening or possibly before they happen.
If you listen to their observations and encourage their stories, you will notice the trends that are emerging. It’s a great way to find out about unseen problems and new opportunities. The best part is that the more you listen and seek their input, the more your people will gather information for you.
It will save you time and money
Here’s a life and leadership hack that’s worth remembering. When someone is feeling nervous, unsure of themselves or vulnerable for any reason, they never tell you the real issue straight away. They always start with something else, something that feels less threatening.
This is particularly true in the workplace.
If you learn to listen in a way that gets to the real issue, you can uncover the problems that really need to be solved.
It means the issue they present or the topic they talk about is not the real issue. It’s not the thing that really needs to be resolved. If you leap into deal with or fix that issue, you will waste time and resources on something that doesn’t matter, leaving the real issue to fester and go unresolved.
How much of your time and effort is being wasted on issues that don’t matter? How much are you spending on those issues? If you learn to listen in a way that gets to the real issue, you can uncover the problems that really need to be solved and save yourself the time, money and resources that are being wasted on things that don’t matter.
How to listen more effectively
1. Recognize when it’s needed
People drop hints and clues that they are not telling you the real issue and there is something more serious that needs to be addressed. They will be hesitant, less confident or even emotional. Or their body language and behavior will change. They may even ask for your time and attention. If you learn to look for these simple clues, you can unlock a deeper conversation.
2. Engage and open up the conversation
Once you’ve recognized there is something else going on, you will need to let them know you are listening, and that starts by engaging with them. What does your position, location, body language and behavior suggest?
There are many symbolic gestures that communicate readiness. For example, closing your laptop, putting something down, putting your phone on silent, turning your chair toward them and stepping out from behind your desk. The list is endless.
Leaders who learn to listen to their people and embrace what they have to offer will open themselves up to the wisdom, brilliance and genius of different perspectives.
The idea is to make sure your body language, gestures and position all demonstrate that you are there for them and will hear what they have to say.
Also, leaders tend to ask questions and solve problems instead of listening. This tends to shut the conversation down and take it away from the deeper issue. Instead of asking questions, use simple prompts like "tell me more" or "go on". You may be surprised what you learn and how much time and effort it saves you.
3. Summarize
You might know this skill as paraphrasing or reflective listening. It’s a great way to check your understanding while also helping them feel understood. If you learn to summarize what they are saying, you will get much closer to the real issue and that could save you countless hours and lots of unneeded stress and tension.
Rethink what it means to be a leader
Early leadership roles create mindsets and beliefs that leadership is a command-and-control activity. That’s because leading hands and team leaders spend their time telling everyone what to do. They are a technical expert who instructs others in how to do the task.
As they move through their leadership career, they will need to shift from achieving through their technical skill to achieving through people skills. That’s a whole different ball game and requires a different way of thinking.
Leaders who hold on to the idea that they are the expert who instructs everyone else are confined to the ideas and opportunities that they can see.
Leaders who learn to listen to their people and embrace what they have to offer will open themselves up to the wisdom, brilliance and genius of different perspectives. When that happens, they will have found the secret ingredient to taking their company to the next level.