‘Have you got five minutes?’ and other office communication lies

"Have you got five minutes?" We all know it’s never just five minutes, and it’s often asked right when we’re about to rush off to a meeting, are on a tight deadline or are deeply focused on an important task.

Yet many of us find ourselves automatically responding with a quick ‘yes’, especially those who lean toward being people pleasers or passive communicators. And then, as the conversation drags on, we kick ourselves.

As the discussion continues, our stress levels rise. We’re only half listening because we’re distracted, worrying about how we can quickly wrap up the conversation, calculating how late we’re going to be to our next commitment, and becoming increasingly frustrated that ‘five minutes’ is clearly a gross underestimation.

This scenario is all too common in the fast-paced, high-stakes environment of the corporate world.

These interactions can be particularly challenging for executives who must balance being approachable with protecting their own time.

Some will silently seethe while plastering a fake smile on their faces. Others might become impatient listeners, interrupting or trying to interject to cut the story short. This can feel uncomfortable and rude for both parties, especially if the conversation takes a deeper turn.

These interactions can be particularly challenging for executives who must balance being approachable with protecting their own time.

So how can these situations be handled better? What strategies can be used to manage these impromptu bail-ups in a polite, professional and empathetic way? Here are three tips:

1. Be upfront

When someone asks, "Have you got five minutes?" or "Can we have a quick chat?" make it clear from the start how much time you actually have. If your time is limited, say so. You might say, "I can give you three minutes but then I have to leave for a meeting". By signposting your availability at the start, it becomes easier to exit the conversation without feeling rude when the time comes.

This direct approach not only sets boundaries but also shows respect for both parties’ time. It allows the other person to adjust their expectations and prioritize their key points. If there genuinely isn’t time to speak at all, it’s far better to say this upfront than to cut someone off midway through their point unexpectedly.

2. Give them a choice

After stating the available time, give the other person a choice about how to proceed. Say: "I can give you five minutes now, or we can schedule time to speak later this afternoon if you think it’ll take longer. Which would you prefer?" This puts the decision in their hands and sets clear expectations about the time that can be offered.

Next time someone asks, "Have you got five minutes?", these tips will equip you to handle it with confidence and courtesy.

Providing options empowers the other person and fosters a sense of collaboration. If you’re distracted, let them know: "If we have the conversation now, I’m not going to be able to give you my full attention and I know this is important to you. Would you prefer to discuss it now or make time later when I can listen properly?"

This honest communication shows that you value their input and want to give it the attention it deserves.

By putting the ball in their court, they can decide to proceed under the given terms or choose a more suitable time. This approach not only manages time effectively but also demonstrates a commitment to thoughtful and meaningful engagement.

3. Exit with grace

Even after following the first two tips, there might be times when the conversation still drags on beyond the allotted time. In such cases, interject politely but assertively. Say something like, "I’m sorry, but I have to wrap this up now."

Depending on the conversation’s context, close with, "What’s the main point you need me to take away?" or "Do I have all the information you need me to have, or do we need to discuss this further?"

If it’s clear that more time is needed, suggest continuing the conversation later or, better yet, schedule a specific time to revisit the discussion.

By employing these strategies, you will ensure interactions remain respectful and productive.

Managing these unexpected and often extended conversations requires proactive and clear communication. By employing these strategies, you will ensure interactions remain respectful and productive, preserving your schedule while staying accessible and empathetic to the needs of others.

Next time someone asks, "Have you got five minutes?", these tips will equip you to handle it with confidence and courtesy.